ConstiToonies

Fortunately for America, the protection of Air Force One is in the right hands. The man of wealth and taste has asserted that he never sleeps on the plane, as he is always keeping an eye out for enemy missiles. What he would do if he actually saw an enemy missile is unclear, but at least the reporters and aides in the back of the plane can sleep soundly knowing that the demigod in the front of the plane is keeping his unending vigil. 

Every weekday we here at ConstiToonies HQ pick something to satirize in our comic. But at the same time, every weekday we collect enough fodder for twenty comics. We hate to let these go by, so here’s a couple you can look up for yourself and make your own comics.   On the fashion front, RFK, Jr., AKA The Butcher of Washington, always wears extra-skinny ties from a company that specializes in extra skinny ties. Meanwhile, Disney executives are predicting fewer international WDW visitors because the odds are 50-50 they’ll end up in the Magic Kingdom or an ICE holding cell. Greenland, which has one Asian-inspired restaurant (apparently all those Chinese invaders are suffering through the local blubber specialities), a restaurant accused of having hairs in their soup, by the way—we studiously follow Greenlandic Yelp here at CHQ—has its natives and Danish compatriots wearing “Nu det NU UK!” Hats, which liberally translates as MAGA—Make America Go Away. And it’s a good idea if you’re lo...

 

There are those among us, completely lacking in the ability to speak Spanish, who nevertheless nestled right into Bad Bunny’s set at the Super Bowl. If nothing else, we here at ConstiToonies HQ were lusting after a nice cool piragua on a warm island afternoon. Some people, of course, felt otherwise.