#239 In which we take a momentary break from bombing our little hearts out

Donald Trump, prior to becoming President—a statement that to this day boggles the mind whenever we type it—devoted his career to putting his name on things. He wasn’t a great architect or urban planner or visionary or business executive, despite his demurrals claiming all of these. He made his money by selling his name to people. That was it. Period. The buyers believed that using this name, putting it on a hotel or apartment building or the like, would add enough of a layer of class to warrant the expense. And there certainly are people who believe that all you need is gilt. Which is why we here at ConstiToonies HQ are surprised neither by the man of wealth and taste today putting his name on everything he sees in the neighborhood, nor by his decorating of the White House in goldenesque self-awarded trophies. None of this is new, yet when himself decided his name should go on the dollar bill, suddenly the media was all over the whole TrumpStamping business as if they had never heard of it before. Seriously?

Sadly for him, Trump’s hold on history will be loosened pretty quickly after the next Democrat wins the White House. Everything labeled Trump will go back to being labeled Anything But. Which may be why he’s going gangbusters on it at the moment. Of course, there is a thin chance that he actually believes he is the greatest leader any country has ever had in the history of leaders and countries, but we suspect a wee peep of overcompensation in all of this, in the hope that something—anything—will survive the teardown. Since it is not even a joke to suggest that we might be fighting simultaneous land battles in Iran, Cuba, and Greenland on some day in the not too distant future, the scrubbing after the fact is inevitable. Unfortunately, we have to go through the tagging first before we can begin the untagging. 

That, we suggest, will be Trump’s biggest legacy: his banishment from American history.