#242 In which we reassure the American people that gas isn’t as expensive as they think it is, that we are in productive talks to end the war, and Europe can go take a long walk off a short pier

In other news:

• Thus spake Trump: “We love Pam, and she will be transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector, to be announced at a date in the near future.” Missing from this comment was the announcement of the installation of a new revolving door in the cabinet room.
• BoingBoing: “A whistleblower claims the Trump Justice Department effectively eliminated the government's only office dedicated to preventing hate crimes and community violence, cutting it from 57 staff to just one.” This will be the kind of thing we’ll miss under much-loved Bondi’s regime.
• Author Maris Kreizman: “H.R. 7661 is a bill brought by House Representative Mary Miller (Republican, Illinois) that seeks to remove any book that ‘involves gender dysphoria or transgenderism’ from public schools in the entire United States. Seventeen of Miller’s colleagues in the House have cosigned it.” This will certainly make teaching a lot easier when Melania’s Robot Educational Brigade takes over.
• Ars Technica: ‘In September, the Trump administration took what it called “bold actions” on autism that included touting the generic drug leucovorin as a promising treatment… Marty Makary, commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration, claimed a “growing body of evidence suggests” the drug could be helpful. It might help “20, 40, 50 percent of kids with autism… Hundreds of thousands of kids, in my opinion, will benefit.” The bold claims were apparently persuasive. A study published in The Lancet last week found that new outpatient prescriptions of leucovorin for children ages 5 to 17 shot up 71 percent in the three months after the Trump administration’s actions… Meanwhile, in comments to The Associated Press, senior FDA officials said they found little evidence for expanding the drug’s use to autism.’ Maybe if the Administration tried ingesting it as a cure for bullshit?
• NY Times: ‘The Trump administration is reviewing proposals to break up one of the world’s leading climate and weather laboratories…The White House budget director, called [the National Center for Atmospheric Research] “one of the largest sources of climate alarmism in the country.” The center, founded in 1960, is responsible for many of the biggest scientific advances in understanding of weather and climate. Its research aircraft and sophisticated computer models of the Earth’s atmosphere and oceans are widely used in forecasting weather events and disasters. Scientists say the move to dismantle the center would weaken research that is crucial to understanding the atmosphere, space and oceans, air pollution and climate change. It would leave emergency officials and planners less prepared for extreme weather events.’ Thank God climate change is just a myth!
• Finally, there’s the general media coverage of the war, as described by the man of wealth and taste. “The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal (in particular) and other lowlife ‘Papers’ and Media actually want us to lose the war.” The journalists, he says, are “sick and demented people.” Think of this what you will, but we here at ConstiToonies HQ are especially curious about the use of the word “Papers,” in quotes. Papers? PAPERS??? We don’t need no stinkin’ PAPERS!!!