#133 If you can’t beat ‘em, hide ‘em.

Today’s multiple choice question—Donald J. Trump (AKA Offisah Pup) is going to take over the D.C. police force because:

A) D.C. makes the post-apocalyptic Mad Max movies look like a jolly holiday with Mary Poppins

B) the Metro police are being run by Lieutenant Frank Drebin Jr and Trump could do a better job himself with one hand tied behind his back

C) violent crime is down 26% from the previous year and is in fact* at a 30-year-low, according to the DOJ**

*ConstiToonies regrets the unavoidable use of the word “fact” in a discussion of President Donald J. Trump.

**Can somebody get us the name of the person at the DOJ who came up with these numbers so we can fire them ASAP