#198 In which the man of wealth and taste wants to help everybody.

We asked the ConstiToonies Parsing team to demystify this quote: “Largely, when you talk about SNAP, you’re talking about largely Democrats. But I’m president. I want to help everybody. I want to help Democrats and the Republicans. But when you’re talking about SNAP, if you look it’s largely Democrats. They’re hurting their own people.”

Translation: “Largely, I want to feed all the hungry people, except largely the Democrats, who are all largely antifa immigrant terrorist SCUM who don’t worship me, so no harm there letting those non-Americans starve to death. Largely.”


We understand a new Feed The Republicans (and only the Republicans) initiative is in the works. 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#124 Parks and Bloviation

Image
Trump’s visit to the UK was the usual collection of press conference blathering and warnings that the windmills are attacking the whales and remarking in surprise how well all the natives speak English, but it also brought us the proof of what hitherto had only been common chitchat: the man cheats at golf. You can see all the common chitchat with a simple Google search, and most of it is pretty entertaining, but you can also now see a video of a caddy earning his princely tip by conveniently dropping a fresh ball away from the rough so the Chief Executive can get a clear shot of it. A couple of things about this are notable. First, Trump himself doesn’t do the actual ball manipulation; he has his caddy do it for him. And second, he cheats at golf in Scotland. Scotland! This is like eating Kraft Macaroni and Cheese in Italy, or not eating poutine in Canada. It is an insult to the core essence of the country. But, then again, it is Donald I-think-I’ll-give-myself-a-three-on-that-last-hol...
Read more

#162 In which Cocoapo Kracie Tokishakuyaku Powder Tablets remain questionable

Image
Any suggested limit on firearms, maybe things like universal background checks, turn our thinking and praying politicians into raging action heroes. However, the Trump administration, the last people you would expect to take our guns from our cold dead hands, is considering—FINALLY—a ban, albeit limited, on firearms. They are looking at making America great again by banning transgender folks from owning firearms.   Oliver Clothzoff, from this year’s Great British Baking Show was unavailable for comment.
Read more