#200 In which we bid a fond farewell

The executive committee at ConstiToonies has decided that, with our 200th post, we are riding off into the sunset. It’s not that the man of wealth and taste and his cabinet of curiosities is no longer worthy of our attention, but we simply can no longer keep up. When we look at our notes of just the last few days we see potential comics on:

• The stiffening of the tests for becoming a US citizen
• Pete Megadeath barring the military from discussing his playing battleship with the Venezuelans
• For that matter, plans to invade our archenemy Venezuela to give our battle-hardened troops—direct from the bloodstained streets of Portland and Chicago—something to keep their skillsets intact
• The plummeting sales at the Trump-led Kennedy Center, because you can just see Cats and The Sound of Music so many times (and also the building is falling apart)
• Trump declaring that any anti-Trump content should be literally outlawed
• A quote from Mike Johnson forgetting who he supported for president and saying: "You promise everything to everyone, and you can't deliver, and if you were able to deliver it would be to the great detriment of the people you lured in to vote for you” 
• Chicago Pope Leo calling for “deep reflection” about US treatment of migrants (and of course the US bishops chiming in along the same line, which sounds to us like some sort of LOSER antifa terrorist action if there ever was one)
• The introduction of Trump wine, because we always want teetotalers as our sommeliers, or maybe because it comes from Saudi grapes, or well, some people will buy anything with God’s picture on the bottle
• The estimated number of deaths caused by the Muskrat’s DOGE (you don’t want to know)
• Pete Megadeath (again) summarily ousting US military leaders from the ranks (mostly of the black or female persuasions because he hasn’t gotten around to the fat ones yet)
• George Santos leaving NYC to protest Mamdani’s win
• the MAHA push toward “natural family planning” 
• the naming of the Commanders’ Stadium after none other than football great D. J. (“Bonespurs”) Trump
• the idea of the 50-year mortgage (what a money saver!!!)
• and far from last and far from least, Trump going after Bill Clinton in response to the latest Epstein revelations about Trump himself. 

Over this year of Trump’s second term we have learned that no low is too low, no hypocrisy too hypocritical, no lie too outrageous, no nothing too anything. And we’ve had enough. Most of our ConstiToonies team is retiring to live in the country (albeit not this one). There was a lot of talk about golf, pickle ball and mahjongg. As for our younger staffers with some life still left in them, they are sending applications to the Onion, Walmart and Gavin Newsom’s nascent presidential campaign. 

Good luck to all of them, and to all of us, good night.