#215 In which Klaatu barada nikto

The man of wealth and taste has been raising quite the ruckus on the environmental front lately. He’s eliminated the government’s role in controlling greenhouse gas emissions in one of those theoretical power grabs that says the EPA shouldn’t have done it in the first place but in reality is just one more bloody stupid thing these people have come up with. At the same time, the Federal Judicial Center no longer advises judges on climate change because the scientific fact that it is affected by human actions is a “preferred view.” For the record, we here at ConstiToonies HQ have always preferred the view that the sun rises in the west, so any mention of it rising in, say, the south, will in the future be redacted from our posts. On top of all that, the Washington Coal Club—now there’s a club we wouldn’t want to belong to if they would have us as a member (with apologies to G. Marx)—awarded Trump a trophy as the “Undisputed Champion of Clean, Beautiful Coal.” In response, himself ordered the military to make agreements with coal plants. Which makes us wonder if our brave sailors shoveling coal into their submarine boilers will be able to compete with the nuclear subs out there. And if beating our ailing planet while it’s down wasn’t good enough, the FDA refused to evaluate Moderna’s latest flu shot, thus also beating our ailing flu sufferers. Somebody in government, perhaps someone who once had the flu, overturned that one, thank goodness. The flu is always evolving, necessitating the evolution of flu shots. Not only is our poor coal-shoveling sailor’s submarine falling behind the boomers, but that poor sailor also has the flu while our competitors are sipping mojitos on the Lido deck… 

And, one last item, the FDA has deleted their warning against using bleach to cure autism, which makes us wonder, first, what idiot would think to use bleach to cure autism, and second, what idiot would remove warning against this if there were actually people idiotic enough to do it in the first place?