#231 In which you can blame God if you don’t like it

Some days you get more news than you want. This was one of those days. 

• The Strait of Hormuz is backed up and threatening to crash the world economy, not to mention crashing American wallets at the gas pump, and when Trump asked his allies for some help nuking it back to the Stone Age, they were all out of their offices. Trump responded by saying we really didn’t need their help, it was just a test. We here at ConstiToonies HQ aren’t sure which is worse, that we needed help or that when we didn’t get it we bragged about not needing it, claiming we were just pulling their chains. American diplomacy at its finest. 
• And one potential ground war not being enough, Trump now has vowed to “take” Cuba. Since when does the USA go around "taking" countries? Then again, we hear that Russia has softened Ukraine enough that maybe our Supreme Leader might turn his attention there to finish the job. We could take back Chernobyl for a start. 
• On the bright side, the courts have struck down RFK, Jr.’s, vaccination program, or more to the point, his non-vaccination program. In essence, His Honor said that a bunch of yahoos who have no medical training are perhaps not up to the job of determining the country’s health. Of course, the boss has been suggesting that Professor Bobby keep his hands in his pockets until after the midterms anyway, because, first, no one will remember what an idiot he is when they’re coughing up blood in the polling booth, and second, after the Glorious November Revolution of 2026 when the Republicans will be running everything, they can go back to banning every medical advance in the US since the invention of leeches. (Oh, wait a minute, the Republicans are already running everything. And doing a helluva job of it, baby!!!) 
• Also on the bright side, the courts ruled that the U.S. attorney’s office in Washington could not pursue the case against Jerome Powell just because of the President’s desire for vengeance. Jeanine Pirro, in response, said she’d come up with something—anything!—to set this tragedy of American jurisprudence right. We are reminded of the song from “Damn Yankees”: "Whatever Donald wants / Donald gets…" Vengeance is mine, sayeth the President.
• And on our own we did some research to learn that estimates range on the number of transgender folks in America from about .05% to 1.3% of the American population. OH MY GOD!!! THEY’RE TAKING OVER. Fortunately there are plenty of politicians ready to stop them in their tracks. And oh, yeah, our trusty research department has also reported that since taking office the second time, $26 million of our taxes has gone to support Trump’s ability to play golf on his own courses. He could have played on the muni course in DC., but that’s where he’s dumped all the rubble from the East Wing. The Trump giveth, the Trump taketh away.

Aren’t you glad we read the news of the world for you, so that you can concentrate on who wore it well at the Oscars? (Was Demi Moore being attacked by ravens?)