#248 In which we find a new use for an old parking lot

As soon as it was announced, we here at ConstiToonies HQ felt a moral obligation to download the White House App to keep track of our Supreme Leader. This was much as we originally felt a moral obligation to follow His Mightiness on Truth Social. But every time we come close to messing up our phones with these Doorways to Trumpiness, we get cold feet and go running back to Disney Solitaire. It’s not that we don’t trust these apps; it’s just that, well, we don’t trust these apps. There are plenty of responsible journalists out there taking the hit so that we can cling to their coattails. We applaud their stamina, or as we called it in high school, their testical fortitude. But we admit it: we do not share it. 

And we know it’s a little late, but we feel that a picture of the Easter Bunny and the man we think of as the Keister Bunny was too precious to resist. Apparently the man of wealth and taste kept the Easter morning egg-hunting kiddies riveted with his tales of Joe Biden and the Autopen, the perfect audience for such things. By the way, Easter was also the day Trump told Iran to go Trump themselves in no uncertain terms. Praise be to Allah, and all that jazz.

Speaking of Trump’s social media posts, we’ve decided that he learned creative writing at the Mary Worth School of Pointless CAPITALIZATIONS. Except of course with good old Mary, it’s random boldface, thus:

Every strip, every panel, has a word or words in bold that one would never be emphasizing in the spoken language. Trump's posts similarly have a word or words in caps that one would never be emphasizing in the spoken language. Then again, like Mary Worth, Donald Trump is a busybody who can't seem to mind his own business for two minutes straight, so maybe we shouldn't be surprised at this.

And one last note ripped from the headlines (although we could go on like this forever), RFK, Jr., is launching a new podcast. We quote him in Mary Worth style: “I’m going to have fearless conversations with critical thinkers, including independent doctors, respected scientists, and leaders in medical innovation and research. I’m going to ask the questions and lift the taboos and expose the hypocrisy and the conflicts and the corruption.” Which brings us back to how we started this post. We will not be adding this podcast to our queue. We just don’t have the testical fortitude.